Indulgence

Ive become numb,
to what is true and false.
My brain is scattered,
and my pulse is lost.

Understanding what pride is,
takes pride to figure out.
Without pride in yur soul,
you may become filled with doubt.

Learning to trust,
becomes an encumbering errand.
If you have exiled trust,
then you may never begin.

Anything you want,
long term or short.
your body must be disclosed,
and relieved from its fort.

With trust comes feeling,
and the numbness flees.
Your brain reunites,
and you then may begin to be.

fuck people

i have been mocked with the way i act by all around me, but a select few. i dont know what is means or how i feel but it has come to a point where it is stupid only because i have my own image and unique personality that i am criticized for by everyone that are the same.i sit in between two prime examples as i forge this script on this support.the sickening fucks just glare at me almost enviously that i have a passion of my own that doesnt include binge drinking and shooting shit while binge drinking, and unfortunatley for them my passion is far to sophisticated for them to comprehend.i am filled with annoyance and grief.the dumb ass ignorant beings have the mental capacity of a fucking nut between the both of them. i feel surrounded by these arrogant ass holes everyday of my life.one asks me to read what it is i am writing and i so kindly decline. i am almost insecure about my writings without my "Dark" identity. i honestly could give a flying fuck about what they think about my writings, but the point is that i dont want brains all splattered on me and in the bus because what i write would blow their fucking minds. i dont know many people that could be able to really understand and realize what is is that i mean by my words when i say what i say.

LIVE

Looks, glances, glares,
burn my flesh to the bone.
I cant take it anymore,
people just dont seem to understand.

Friends get to know,
the truth about who i really am.
Their views alter,
as if i were an outsider.

I become unwelcome,
and neglected by my past companions.
Getting through this,
becomes a quicksand pit from hell.

I churn and muscle,
my way over this obstacle.
Create new friends and move on,
the begin to see and accept the real me.

I do things i want to do,
without the second guessing.
Others may feel,
that what i do is taboo.

I could give a shit,
i create my own path.
My future is dependent on me,
I will never depend on my future.

The Cool People

I guess this really only relates to the people who will never quite understand the world and how it works. You see, I am compelled to express my inner thoughts on the dreaded group simply known as the "cool" people. Myself and others prescribe to a common theory known simply as the "average joe" theory. This means that no matter what we do in life, we will be middle of the road. Never anything glamorous, great, inspirational, or exquisite. We will simply be average. Now I have often thought what goes through a person's head when they have attained the right to call themselves cool. Is it that they can wear the clothes that are thought to be neat. Popped collars, boat shoes, kaki shorts that cut off the circulation in my balls. Or is it they possess the ability to not care about anything in the world except "getting drunk and finding bitches"...this is obviousely from a guys point of view. Maybe the cool group of people can belittle others simply to get a laugh out of the people they are around. Not genuine humor but the vulgar and abusive sorts. Yes its true I never truly fit in, but I can say that I have true friends in life. Not a drinking buddy or a "bitch" that will go all the way. I have what really values in life. But to those of you who say I simply am writing off on the popular I say nay. Popularity is simply a measurement used by the cool people. If you are truly a good person, how popular you are doesn't matter. What matters is that you surround yourself with people who help you become a better person. But I don't wish to divert from my original path, the cool people in life are the ones with the attention, benefits, and "fun" yet how much do they know themselves. You think they know what they want in a girl, what they like to listen to, what they eat, who they talk to, or even what classes they take. No a cool person is simply freed of most responsibility towards life. They have earned a spot amongst the ranks of fellow idiots, only to realize that they climbed a mountain with no view at the top. Thats because when they reached the top of the mountain, they realized it was simply a hill that lead to the real mountain ahead.

the long dusty road,
intervened by obstacles.
makes life worth living,
to its full optimal.

pushing and pressing,
ends only in a checkmate.
for one to succeed,
one must they must not just participate.

giving and taking,
are the essence of life.
though it will test you and your character,
on the edge of a knife.

you fall you fail,
you balance you achieve.
and with failure comes success,
which enables one to believe.

one must stay optimistic,
and grab life by the horns.
and one must take the good with the bad,
and learn to be criticized and torn.

it only gets harder,
as one travels this road.
never back down,
and always carry the load.

for this will expound,
on how one must continue.
to be whom they are and will be,
and adapt to ones venue.