My eyes are burning with the desire felt but once before. I float through a valley walked by many but remebered by few. Their footsteps echo with the daunting sound of my imminant demise. Soon the sensation will leave me, yet my mind keeps my thoughts burned in my head. I am not lost but awakened to the greater sense of meaning burning before me. Those who judge are left only with the satisfaction empty sensation that they are better than me. But I can see more clearly, as if the smoke let down the curtain to a hidden mirror. I see my reflection and realize it has changed more than I care to know. I am simply a shell of who I was and what I believed in. No matter where I go from here, I carry these scares forever. I am no longer a pillar of confidence and knowledge, but a man who cringes at the thought of time and death. I am a lost soul, bound by faith, yet driven by the unknown. I am...nothing more than a man of the world who wishes to prove he can sit atop the milkey way and rule with a fist of dust. For that is all we really are, dust in a cosmic universe.
STW
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
my other name
I see things differently,
that others may see clearly.
I see things repeatedly,
so i begin to fear thee.
Are these signs important,
or should i pay no mind.
This cannot be happening,
it's not my time.
Gasping for breathe,
from the horrifying scene.
I'm in dire need of oxygen,
Tis the only thing i feen.
This plot is still occurring,
like a scratched compacted disc.
My head is on a lose swivle turning,
I am begining to feel sick.
This noise crescendos,
deep within my brain.
I know now im losing it,
I cant even remember my other name.
I see thing differently,
that others may see clearly.
These things keep repeating,
so I begin to fear thee.
that others may see clearly.
I see things repeatedly,
so i begin to fear thee.
Are these signs important,
or should i pay no mind.
This cannot be happening,
it's not my time.
Gasping for breathe,
from the horrifying scene.
I'm in dire need of oxygen,
Tis the only thing i feen.
This plot is still occurring,
like a scratched compacted disc.
My head is on a lose swivle turning,
I am begining to feel sick.
This noise crescendos,
deep within my brain.
I know now im losing it,
I cant even remember my other name.
I see thing differently,
that others may see clearly.
These things keep repeating,
so I begin to fear thee.
Monday, June 1, 2009
thankful
this situation is sticky,
so is your hair.
what if we have to cut it,
oh what a SCARE.
i have no recollection
of that past event occuring.
but in the background
i see a pirate with scurvy.
fallen to his knees
he crutches on his sword.
behind him a gnarly wave arises
and he becomes decaptedted by a board.
talk about a bad day
how much worse could it get,
maybe as bad as pete rose's
addiction got to bet.
i have no recollection
of that past event occuring.
but in the background
i see a pirate with scurvy.
now lifeless and wet,
the pirate is off somewhere he will want to stay
and when he looks back,
he will be glad he had that day.
so is your hair.
what if we have to cut it,
oh what a SCARE.
i have no recollection
of that past event occuring.
but in the background
i see a pirate with scurvy.
fallen to his knees
he crutches on his sword.
behind him a gnarly wave arises
and he becomes decaptedted by a board.
talk about a bad day
how much worse could it get,
maybe as bad as pete rose's
addiction got to bet.
i have no recollection
of that past event occuring.
but in the background
i see a pirate with scurvy.
now lifeless and wet,
the pirate is off somewhere he will want to stay
and when he looks back,
he will be glad he had that day.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
No Way Out
Once again here is dream so any inconsistencies should be ignored...
I find my self in the back of an old pick up truck. There are hunting rifles all around the rusted bed, and as I look around more I see both of my little sisters pressed against the window of the truck. I am not sure who is driving. As I look behind me I see that we are driving through a forest path. It is fall because all the leaves are burnt orange. I stare farther up the path and suddenly my heart twists and I am scared stiff. The only description I can offer that you can relate to is "Orc" like creatures are chasing us. I would air more to a demon-like look, however they look too much like men. I pick up a gun and shoot, they are for some reason only single shot guns. The "orcs" seem to be gaining ground on the pick up truck with every shot I take into the seething black mass. My sisters are screaming for help. I look ahead of us and see a log cabin. For some odd reason I know there is a trapdoor that leads to a tunnel inside the cabin. As we pull in front of the cabin, the "orcs" are 20 or 30 yards away. I grap my littlest sister, and hold my other sisters hand as we sprint into the cabin. I can hear the growls of the "orcs" as I throw the rug off the floor and lift up the trapdoor. I drop my sisters down into a blackness in the floor, and turn to look into the face of an "orc" whose face is guant. His nose looks like a skeleton's and his eyes are wide. He raises a sword and growls as thousands of "orcs" poor into the room. My heart skips. Then suddenly the dream starts all over again. It repeated three times before I woke up in a cold sweat, more scared then I have ever been in my entire life.
STW
I find my self in the back of an old pick up truck. There are hunting rifles all around the rusted bed, and as I look around more I see both of my little sisters pressed against the window of the truck. I am not sure who is driving. As I look behind me I see that we are driving through a forest path. It is fall because all the leaves are burnt orange. I stare farther up the path and suddenly my heart twists and I am scared stiff. The only description I can offer that you can relate to is "Orc" like creatures are chasing us. I would air more to a demon-like look, however they look too much like men. I pick up a gun and shoot, they are for some reason only single shot guns. The "orcs" seem to be gaining ground on the pick up truck with every shot I take into the seething black mass. My sisters are screaming for help. I look ahead of us and see a log cabin. For some odd reason I know there is a trapdoor that leads to a tunnel inside the cabin. As we pull in front of the cabin, the "orcs" are 20 or 30 yards away. I grap my littlest sister, and hold my other sisters hand as we sprint into the cabin. I can hear the growls of the "orcs" as I throw the rug off the floor and lift up the trapdoor. I drop my sisters down into a blackness in the floor, and turn to look into the face of an "orc" whose face is guant. His nose looks like a skeleton's and his eyes are wide. He raises a sword and growls as thousands of "orcs" poor into the room. My heart skips. Then suddenly the dream starts all over again. It repeated three times before I woke up in a cold sweat, more scared then I have ever been in my entire life.
STW
Slaying a Giant
Mind you this was a dream so logically it may not make sense. However none of this was made up. I dreamt every single action that takes place and added no more or less.
The mist is heavy as it falls on the green mountainside. I am running for my life. I have a companion with me, someone who is familiar to me, but I do not see their face. As I keep running towards the mountain, I turn my head to see what I am running from. I see four figures, cloaked in black, running at me with swords drawn. It fuels my fear and I begin to feel my legs ache with exhaustion. I look towards the green mountainside and suddenly see a grappling hood thrown over the top of the mountain. Instantly a figure cloaked in blue is running up the rope, and I recognize them to be friendly. As I turn to the figure I am running with more men, cloaked in blue begin to gather in front of me. As I reach them, they are all staring intently at my pursuers, and I realize that my companion is no longer with me. Suddenly the men cloaked in black behind me are building a wall, preparing for what it seems a battle. They have red banners and are waving them as more and more black cloaked figures begin to mass behind their stone wall. I look to my right to see the blue figures creating a wooden platform with wood spikes surrounding it. A man is sitting on the chair that is perched on top of the platform. He is wearing what appears to be black and blue animal skins, and is completely bald. He turns and hands me a sheathed sword. The sheath is made of twisted gold metal, and is quite heavy. Suddenly the men in black across from us are attacking. I hear distant yells and see men fighting, however I am not engaged in the battle at all. I have the looming feeling in my head we are losing, as if we are the good guys being pushed to the brink. Then a man in black lunges at me. He swings and I raise the sword in sheath to protect myself. The sheath begins to crack, and suddenly the sheath breaks away from the sword. As I stare down out the voice I hear a booming voice echo in my head, "That is the sword I need". I look up to see a man who towers above everybody else. He is a giant by all respects to the word giant. I suddenly realize I must fight him. I lunge at his ankles, slicing quickly, then jump up, somhow using the sword to propel me up and slice his face. He merely laughs and I realize my blade is like a paper cut to his skin. I then realize the only way to bring him down. He grabs me, I see his eyes, black and lifeless as he brings me to the front of his face. I suddenly lunge from his grip, and grab the side of his face. I quickly scramble to his ear, and thrust my sword inside his ear, hearing it crunch bone as it drives through his skull. I am then woken up by my mother vaccuming.
STW
The mist is heavy as it falls on the green mountainside. I am running for my life. I have a companion with me, someone who is familiar to me, but I do not see their face. As I keep running towards the mountain, I turn my head to see what I am running from. I see four figures, cloaked in black, running at me with swords drawn. It fuels my fear and I begin to feel my legs ache with exhaustion. I look towards the green mountainside and suddenly see a grappling hood thrown over the top of the mountain. Instantly a figure cloaked in blue is running up the rope, and I recognize them to be friendly. As I turn to the figure I am running with more men, cloaked in blue begin to gather in front of me. As I reach them, they are all staring intently at my pursuers, and I realize that my companion is no longer with me. Suddenly the men cloaked in black behind me are building a wall, preparing for what it seems a battle. They have red banners and are waving them as more and more black cloaked figures begin to mass behind their stone wall. I look to my right to see the blue figures creating a wooden platform with wood spikes surrounding it. A man is sitting on the chair that is perched on top of the platform. He is wearing what appears to be black and blue animal skins, and is completely bald. He turns and hands me a sheathed sword. The sheath is made of twisted gold metal, and is quite heavy. Suddenly the men in black across from us are attacking. I hear distant yells and see men fighting, however I am not engaged in the battle at all. I have the looming feeling in my head we are losing, as if we are the good guys being pushed to the brink. Then a man in black lunges at me. He swings and I raise the sword in sheath to protect myself. The sheath begins to crack, and suddenly the sheath breaks away from the sword. As I stare down out the voice I hear a booming voice echo in my head, "That is the sword I need". I look up to see a man who towers above everybody else. He is a giant by all respects to the word giant. I suddenly realize I must fight him. I lunge at his ankles, slicing quickly, then jump up, somhow using the sword to propel me up and slice his face. He merely laughs and I realize my blade is like a paper cut to his skin. I then realize the only way to bring him down. He grabs me, I see his eyes, black and lifeless as he brings me to the front of his face. I suddenly lunge from his grip, and grab the side of his face. I quickly scramble to his ear, and thrust my sword inside his ear, hearing it crunch bone as it drives through his skull. I am then woken up by my mother vaccuming.
STW
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
destiny
i sit here and ponder deep to myself about what destiny is and how we have a so called planned destiny....like a father for instance who once was a great athlete at a certain level and him wanting his son or daughter to succeed in what he did. my previous statement is a prime example of why i think no one can really control ones destiny. you are the most manipulated in what your parents want as you become a toddler and then and into an adolescent. sure at the teen age years you may rebuttal with my formers statement at the begging of this ponder on paper, but here is that truth, no matter how much you may think your creating yourself by eluding curfews, making bad grades, or hanging with the crowd that your parentals would dissent from, all of that billy bad assness was created by them. your parents have control of how you are and will be for the rest of your life. you may stray from this in a sort of freedom that you may think you area attaining, but in reality your just at the top of your invisible cage sheltered over by your parents. so back to the fact about not having your own destiny. i have had a conception on how my life has been manipulated not necessarilyin a negative way but maybe a way that could have made things easier or maybe just a little more enjoyable rather than a struggle my entire life. the thing is i have two fairly exceptional god given dextarities. the thing is i was pushed towards one where i was but wasn't built for. where the other one i could pick something up by ear and learn very easily. i feel like i was made or shall i say destined to be something other than i have been groomed to be. i feel that a lot of people may have encountered a thought of why am i doing this and who am i doing this for when i would have maybe rather wanted to do something that could very have been just as if not more success full then what i am doing. i love what i am doing but i know that it was not my destiny and i think it may be a little to late..........
TD
TD
Monday, May 25, 2009
bump on the butt
tis funny how quickly and drastically things change in complete polar opposite directions. one day things area smooth sailing then whamm! your knocked faster on your ass than you could say something long and hard to say...nothing came to mind. Know in this situation you can only think positive and things will change back to the way they were as quickly as that one word you thouhght of earlier or didnt casue you didnt have time; none the less time passes and shti hits the fan. Your fed up wtiht all the shit that was brought upon you, you say fuck it, so thats exactly what you do...fuck it. go out, have fun, do what it is that you want to do no matter what it may be and dont stop and dont let anyone carry you down again. with this go out and just gander...there are so many out there. literally, just millions to pick from. dont let one that you think you know, and really do not, fuck you in your ass because without the foreplay you ass will be left black and blue. the best part is is that when i got hit on my ass, i saw the truth and im more than happy about it...
TD
TD
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